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From 83 Degrees Magazine - Tampa Bay's new media sensation covering the talent, innovation, diversity and economic development of Tampa Bay from 83 Degrees in Tampa Bay.

Rays Studied for Financial Healing Powers

Mucus from the teary eyes of major league baseball’s Rays management may one day join the fight against wounds and infections.

The University of South Tampa has been awarded 3$ million in grants to research groups to study the self healing powers of Rays management. Results from the research could be applied to emergency room and first aid materials.

Mort Labs in Tampa will lead the two tear study with grant money going to the UST medical department, Clep medical University and Dim College in New Hampshire.

Financially and socially injured Rays management have shown remarkable healing powers said Project Manager George Luger.

“We have all seen Rays management publicly displaying their gaping financial wounds amid wounds, which never seem to affect their paychecks and profits. The lack of fans and community connection they operate in also is often public and well documented. Yet upon follow up the Rays management finances have healed rapidly with no effect upon their lives, without any complications.”

Work by researchers will test the anecdotal evidence that the tears of team managers and owners heal their financial situation.

At the center of the research will be the expected tears of the President of Major League Baseball as he joins in the crying and complaining about the dire need for a new publicly funded stadium.

While other mammals tears mucus is suspected to have the same properties it was decided to use the Rays management for this study as they are much easier to handle and collect specimens from, plus they cry continuously about their financial situation.

Once the unique compounds in the tear mucus are identified it could be developed into new antibiotics for human use.

From 83 Degrees Magazine - Tampa Bay's new media sensation covering the talent, innovation, diversity and economic development of Tampa Bay from 83 Degrees in Tampa Bay.