Price Waterhouse

After laying off his first 100 employees in a clumsy and uncoordinated effort PWC executive Larry Wilford here in Tampa hit a groove and found a fast pace and method to effortlessly layoff the remaining 400 employees.

“Everything came together, my training, experience, reflexes, and emotions well all perfectly allied making mea firing machine, it was a huge rush to do this.”

The closing of the PWC facility in Tampa lead to a heated rush to lay off all 500 employees as soon as possible. “It was a frenzy of mad management skills, a huge buffet of firing. This was my best work yet” according to Wilford.

Projecting an air of inference Wilford was able to be assertive and relaxed in a natural yet effective firing pace last week. “It all came naturally once I realized they were not people and I could be creative when dropping the hammer.” Said Wilford.

Wilford’s performance represented a shocking improvement over earlier industry attempts at workforce reduction in Tampa Bay. Most common errors were made by pretending to care, offering severance or budgeting time to allow employees to react.

“Now that we are running out of staff to fire, it is time to take my skills to a larger firm where I can layoff thousands. I want to do this every day. There is no better high in management then effectively firing. Like the great Buffalo herds that were hunted to extinction, we have to shoot them else someone else will, then we have to go find more buffalo” quipped Wilford.”